When life is hard to bear, it is very tempting to immerse yourself in self-pity. While this kind of reaction does little to solve your situation, it may make you even more miserable. But a little advice will see you out your unhappiness. Here are some dos and don'ts that will prove to be of great value.
The Don'ts of Overcoming Self-Pity
- Don't expect other people to be as sorry for you as you are for yourself. In most cases, they are in fact sorry but won’t automatically show it. Secondly, they also have their own worries and problems to deal with.
- Don’t think that it is only taking place to you, or it is worse than what has happened to others. Even people you can’t imagine have their own spells of self-pity. It is only that they fight the bad feelings and are therefore better able to cope.
- Don’t think that other people are unkind or cold-blooded because they continue carrying on with their lives. In this business of life, everyone has a duty to carry out so he/she can earn their bread and butter.
- Don’t think that life can't go on unless you have someone one whose shoulder you can cry on. Swear to yourself that you will be solely responsible for your own happiness. That you have all it takes even when life is rough.
- Don't fool yourself that it is somebody else’s responsibility to get you out of your situation. Even people who are mentally troubled have their own part to play when they seek the services of a counseling psychologist.
- Don't deceive yourself with the notion that “I can't”, and don’t collapse when you get a failure or suffer a setback. If you slide and fall down when taking a walk, you don’t stay on the ground. You just get up, dust yourself, and then carry on with your journey. The same case should apply to your journey of life.
The Dos of Overcoming Self-Pity
- Do recognize that the majority of people feel wretched for a moment, but soon abandon you if you show self-pity. Although most people will sympathize with someone having a hard time, they do expect them to show courage rather than defeat. Not many people are strong enough to tolerate someone with negative thoughts for a long time.
- Do acknowledge that depressing, tragic, hard and horrible things happen in every instant of every hour. You are not in your battles alone. As you are mourning your hard times, other people are facing far worse situations than yourself.
- Do recognize that other people would be grateful to you, and you would feel much better, if you stopped focusing on yourself and thought about them at times. Psychologists say that one of strongest remedies to mental distress is mingling with other people. If you know someone who is having a hard time, pay them a visit.
- Do acknowledge that solving your troubles is exclusively your obligation. Quit the thoughts of always feeling sorry for yourself. Get busy doing your own things. If you are doing something to solve your problems, you can be sure that your life is improving. But feeling sorry will do nothing.
- Do recognize that your courage and faith in yourself are being tested. Life is full of challenges. The moment you exhibit enthusiasm and bravery, your self-pity will defeated. Get tough and fight back.
Finally, don't allow yourself to believe that your situation is permanent. Do not accept that you are condemned to live forever in self pity. Although life is a series of problems, you won't have to deal with them all at once. Just do each day what you must do. Soon, you will start being a winner, and you will never again have self-pity.
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